Click Here for the Altrok Home pageClick Here for the Rant ArchiveAltrok Radio: On the web and at WRSU-FM 88.7, New Brunswick, NJNY/NJ Area Shows That MatterAltrok Swag: T-Shirts, Mugs, Bags and (of course) Thongs.Viral Guerilla Marketing: Help Us Make Altrok Ubiquitous.A parade of items and links that enrich your Altrok Lifestyle.Send feedback to Altrok

Music Savaged By The Average Beast

Listen Now to Altrok Web Radio
(Or just look at what's playing.)

Subscribe to
Altrok's Discussion List
Powered by

for February 24, 2005

Click here or scroll down
for today's rant...

Right now on our web station.
Or check out our weekly FM Radio Showcase at:
WBJB-FM 90.5 The Night, Lincroft, NJ
Fridays, 10PM Eastern
Online at

[Inscrutable Links: John Peel Says "Hi". FM106.3 Staff List. FM106.3's 1988 playlist.]

The Greatest TV Show Ever, Even More
by Stiffy Biceptz

A couple of months ago I wrote an article about VH1’s Surreal Life. I remarked how the interaction of Flava Flav and Brigitte Neilson was something remarkably bizarre and worth watching. Sadly, the piece got lost somewhere between my computer and my editor, and it never saw the light of day. Our collective loss.
Well, there’s good news. The improbable, most unlikely, surely doomed, dysfunctional relationship between the two charismatic nut-jobs has grown from a Surreal Life sideshow to its own half hour show called, never more appropriately, ‘Strange Love’. The mere mention of Flava Flav and Brigitte Neilson in the same sentence should be reason enough to watch the show.
Not since the TV antics of Andy Kaufmann have viewers watched a show and said out loud to themselves, “Can this be real??”
Ladies and gentlemen, it appears to be so.
The series began where the Surreal life left off. A budding romance between Flav, the cartoonish front man from the infamous Public Enemy, and Brigitte Neilson, the amazon-like Euro gal who's biggest claim to fame is having been married to Sylvester Stallone. And the fact that she’s just gigantic.
It starts with Flav flying to Italy to surprise his fair maiden, pronounce his love and return her to America as his wife/lover/bodyguard. If the invasion of Iraq didn’t kill the transatlantic relationship, this might just do it.
The series continues from there with Flav attempting in every possible way to convince Brigitte that she belongs with him, and to dump her fiancé, some young guy who must be thinking--well I can’t imagine what.
If there was ever a show you needed to watch, even if for nothing other than pure shock value, this has got to been seen.
These two have to be the most unlikely pair in human history. The clash of cultures is simultaneously disturbing and hysterical. They make the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie Presley marriage look damn normal.
Highlights so far:
Brigitte introducing Flav to her sophisticated Euro friends. He in a white tux, she towering over him. They look they’re going to die when Flav spill some wine.
Brigitte backstage with Public Enemy before a show. Think of the club scene in Animal House. That was a friendly place compared to this.
Brigitte onstage with Public Enemy, kissing and hugging Flav during a show. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more uncomfortable watching anything in my life. The crowd looked awfully embarrassed. The look on Chuck D’s face as he realizes PE has just become Abba.
The trailers show scenes from future episodes. Flav takes Brigitte to the ‘hood. A wedding chapel in Las Vegas. Strap yourselves down.
Final Notes: This show will either trigger the comeback of smoking or its final demise. The tobacco companies must be loving the fact that Brigitte smokes on camera throughout each entire episode. But it ain’t pretty. She’s the new Marlboro Man.
I’m already looking forward to the next chapter in this tale, “The Flavs”, the reality show that will follow the newlyweds lives after the wedding. Move over Ozzy.

©2005 Stiffy Biceptz
[Matt Pinfield's name used by gracious permission of its owner.]

All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.


Today's NY/NJ Shows That Matter

Friday, May 29, 2020
Polaris at The Foundry, Philly (POSTPONED)
Connor Bracken & The Mother Leeds Band, Jaron Clemons & The Late Nights, Morningside Lane and more at House Of Independents (POSTPONED TILL AUG 21)
Lucinda Williams at City Winery (Pier 57) (POSTPONED)
Peter Wolf & The Midnight Travelers at Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown NY (POSTPONED)
Bobby Cochran at Paramount Theatre (POSTPONED)
Bobby Bandiera: Runnin Down A Dream at Count Basie Center For The Arts (RESCHEDULED FROM MARCH 13) (POSTPONED)
More NY/NJ Shows That Matter

ALTROK Ordinals

ALTROK recommends music once a week; here's our most recent choices. Most links will take you to a place where you can buy the music; if there's no link, and you own a record company, consider releasing it yourself...

A Place To Bury Strangers - It Is Nothing
The Boxer Rebellion - Semi-Automatic
The Cribs - Cheat On Me
Datarock - True Stories
Everything Everything - Photoshop Handsome
HEALTH - Die Slow
Miles Hunt and Erica Nockalls - Catching More Than We Miss
Julian Plenti - Games For Days
Los Campesinos - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future (Free download!)
Miike Snow - Black & Blue

Viral Guerilla Marketing Tools


ALTROK talks about music, but that job isn't done 'til you make it your own...

ALTROK is a member of the Associates Program.
Click here to buy there, and help support ALTROK in the process.


You've read the rants, you've listened to the streams...
ALTROK swag! click on the t-shirt to pick up the swag!

[Error Creating Counter File -- Click for more info]