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Music Savaged By The Average Beast






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for September 15, 2004


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A Flu For All Seasons
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

"I’m dying!"
 
"Paulie, you have a cold."
 
"It’s a virus. A giant, lurking Terminator of a bug. With fangs."
 
"Viruses aren’t alive, you know. You pour chicken soup on them and they take a powder, my sweet."
 
"My virus resists all the efforts of Womankind. I’m going to the Emergency Room!"
 
Thus, Your Darling, Your Diva, Your One True Love and her dear companion Paulie Gonzalez spent Labor Day weekend sidelined by a hinky little plague. At such a moment, one finds amusement where one can. For unexpected mirth, few events match meeting your high school friend in the ER while she’s taking Handsome Prince’s blood pressure and your hair is pointing toward magnetic north:
 
"So, how’s…your mom?’
 
"She’s fine, thank you. You’re married, and look, you didn’t even have to change your monogram! I’ll go pass out in the waiting room now." When we arrived at the hospital, the waiting room was empty and the staff bored. Half an hour later, it looked like a disaster-prone tour bus emptied on Somerset Street. Every chair was full, and stray wheelchairs had been rounded up by orderlies and placed in the lobby in an attractive grouping. It’s true, Your Beloved modeled less than her best summer look at this moment. People sitting nearby appeared rumpled and some were plainly ill. A reasonably able-bodied gal with a day job, a weekly article, credit cards and health insurance has recourse to consider imponderables like ‘I wonder if my high school friend thinks I’ve donned my bathing cap and taken a dip in the murky local deep end?’
 
Restored to our living room and the couch, connections to the outside world were limited to phone calls and television. We read our mail and had to tell friends.
 
"Mamie, I got a letter that opened with ‘Dear Fellow Republican’ and I laughed so hard my throat closed." And:
 
"Auntie, we can’t come to your barbecue. If we give you our cold you’ll send your healthy grown children to kill us."
 
Suffice it to say, a week later, Paulie’s back under the hood of his car and Your Mild Mirth has seen the inside of a salon. The laundry’s folded, the chicken stock’s exhausted and Larry, the little black cat bent on stealing your soul, is spoiled after constant – if congested - companionship. All that sleep aside, being sick is positively exhausting. On Monday morning, we went back to work to rest up for real life. There’s got to be one around here someplace. Perhaps under the piles of crumpled tissues?
 

©2004 Robin Pastorio-Newman

All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.

 







Today's NY/NJ Shows That Matter

Thursday, August 16, 2018
 
The Blasters, Lara Hope & The Ark-Tones and Jet Weston & His Atomic Ranch Hands at Wonder Bar
 
Billy Currington and Locash at Stone Pony Summerstage
 
Cake, Ben Folds and Tall Heights at The Mann, Philly
 
Sparta at Asbury Lanes
 
Justin Heyward at City Winery
 
Mungion and cB3 at Jams On The Sand
 
Songwriters On The Beach w, The Accidentals and Tara Dente at 5th Avenue Boardwalk, Belmar
 
Danielle Nicole at World Cafe Live, Philly
 
Alkaline Trio and together PANGEA at Starland Ballroom
 
Guided By Voices at Courtyard 1/2 at Industry City, Sunset Park, Bklyn
 
Summer of Sun starring Skip Holly & Brother Andrew at Asbury Park Yacht Club
 
The Blasters at Wonder Bar
 
LaBamba & The Hubcaps at Sony Hall
 
 
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ALTROK Ordinals

ALTROK recommends music once a week; here's our most recent choices. Most links will take you to a place where you can buy the music; if there's no link, and you own a record company, consider releasing it yourself...

A Place To Bury Strangers - It Is Nothing
 
The Boxer Rebellion - Semi-Automatic
 
The Cribs - Cheat On Me
 
Datarock - True Stories
 
Everything Everything - Photoshop Handsome
 
HEALTH - Die Slow
 
Miles Hunt and Erica Nockalls - Catching More Than We Miss
 
Julian Plenti - Games For Days
 
Los Campesinos - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future (Free download!)
 
Miike Snow - Black & Blue
 



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