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Music Savaged By The Average Beast






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for September 24, 2003


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Guilty.
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

We all have our guilty pleasures. You know, the ones you'd rather not admit to before a subcommittee and a court stenographer. Your Darling, Your Diva, Your One True Love allows as how she'll indulge her love of a truly good story under some pretty odd circumstances. Witness:
 
Coworker: You don't believe a word she says, do you? The girl's a terrible liar!
 
Moi: Oh, no! She's a tremendous liar, and I can't wait to hear how this story ends.
 
So it goes, Your Italian Ice is reading a delightful book, Wicked, the Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West by Gregory Maguire, and can't wait to get back to it. The story is full of humanizing elements and fascinating plot twists. So exciting! This rapture does not mean Your Creamsicle has failed to notice an interesting story in pop music, starting with a curious event.
 
One day, something truly unexpected happened. Your Gelato was tooling about town in her green jalopy when she heard a song on the radio. And she liked it. The song turned out to be by the Ravonettes, someone new to the local ether. The next day, the same band was on Letterman. So we tuned in. The Raveonettes are three men and one statuesque blonde woman, and as we listened we noticed something familiar about the music. It sounded like ...
 
... it sounded like ...
 
... Like X, frankly.
 
And we didn't mind, which was surprising because generally, when people pilfer other people's things, that's called stealing, and it's supposed to be very bad for your musical karma. Like, you're supposed to reincarnate as an RIAA flatfoot or something.
 
Anyway, an unscientific poll of five twenty-somethings found that none of them had ever heard of X or any of its members, but all of the music-buyers in this sample thought the Raveonettes were "kind of catchy."
 
In the context of this poll, Your Tofutti also heard the words, "You know what band I sort of like? I'm a little embarrassed. The White Stripes." Since then, everyone Your Frozen Cheesecake has asked about the White Stripes - a good healthy number of persons, she assures you - has uttered a similar opinion. People are embarrassed, but they like the White Stripes. And each mortified music fan has a different idea of what the band sounds like, anywhere from Sparks to The Stranglers, and everything in between. It's as if each unwilling listener hears something completely different in the songs. Weird, eh? It's as if music executives found a magic wand, waved it, and we all pogo to a different tune.
 
It's an odd story, and Your Klondike Bar can't write the ending. That's for you to script. Meanwhile, back to the book, the ruby slippers and one righteous green babe on a broomstick. We know how it ends, sort of, so there's nothing left to tell but the story itself.
 

©2003 Robin Pastorio-Newman

All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.

 







Today's NY/NJ Shows That Matter

Friday, August 23, 2019
 
Rufus Wainwright and The Rails at Grunin Center For The Arts, Ocean County College
 
Extreme at Starland Ballroom
 
Old Dominion at Stone Pony Summerstage
 
Surfer Blood and The Morgan Freemasons at The Saint
 
Spring Heeled Jack at Stanhope House
 
Matt Wade Band at Langosta Lounge
 
Little Vicious, Candy Cavity and Damn Jackals at Asbury Park Yacht Club
 
Muscians On A Mission presents Songwriters & Storytellers: Channeling Woodstock (Open Mic & Food Drive) at Monmouth Museum (6:30p)
 
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ALTROK Ordinals

ALTROK recommends music once a week; here's our most recent choices. Most links will take you to a place where you can buy the music; if there's no link, and you own a record company, consider releasing it yourself...

A Place To Bury Strangers - It Is Nothing
 
The Boxer Rebellion - Semi-Automatic
 
The Cribs - Cheat On Me
 
Datarock - True Stories
 
Everything Everything - Photoshop Handsome
 
HEALTH - Die Slow
 
Miles Hunt and Erica Nockalls - Catching More Than We Miss
 
Julian Plenti - Games For Days
 
Los Campesinos - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future (Free download!)
 
Miike Snow - Black & Blue
 



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