Click Here for the Altrok Home pageClick Here for the Rant ArchiveAltrok Radio: On the web and at WRSU-FM 88.7, New Brunswick, NJNY/NJ Area Shows That MatterAltrok Swag: T-Shirts, Mugs, Bags and (of course) Thongs.Viral Guerilla Marketing: Help Us Make Altrok Ubiquitous.A parade of items and links that enrich your Altrok Lifestyle.Send feedback to Altrok

Music Savaged By The Average Beast

Listen Now to Altrok Web Radio
(Or just look at what's playing.)

Subscribe to
Altrok's Discussion List
Powered by

for November 13, 2002

Clearing Channels
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

Recently, Your Darling, Your Diva, Your One True Love spent exhausting ages in a car crossing state lines with an AM/FM radio and a handsome companion for comfort. This is important. Comfort was required. A person can learn a great deal on Route 95, some lessons more hair-raising than others.
An example: a billboard on the Jersey Turnpike informs us Boston has a brand new album. Boston sucked! Even aging potheads canít be clamoring for more. Can they? They canít...can they?
For the sake of argument, letís regard talk and sports radio as beneath mention. They are in fact beneath mention because even pets can form an opinion about football - though itís based on what snacks youíre dropping on the floor. Weíre music aficionados, and weíre en route. What are you going to listen to?
Mostly the rhythm of seek-static-seek-suck-seek-suck-seek-settle. Your Velvet Pillow, less patient than her handsome companion, settled more easily for loser radio stations just to stop hearing flashes of worse. In 2002, we must ask ourselves a significant question: since the moment Thomas Edison scratched noise into wax, hasnít enough great music been recorded that we never have to hear "Saturday In the Park" again? Let alone playing on two stations at the same time in Connecticut?
In every market, we tuned up R&B, pop rock, and oldies; each time we also found a decent Latin music station we could dance to, so far as being seat-belted in stationary positions permitted. We could not find decent college stations. Apparently, interesting people no longer lurk in university studios. The pop stations played Creed, and everything that sounds like Creed. The R&B stations played J-Lo and what sounds like J-Lo. If you like that dreck, good for you. Here, hold this shiny object.
A word of warning for travelers: slap any button -- ANY button -- if you hear the words eighties weekend on Lite FM. Remember thinking there must be more to life than Journey? These slow children havenít found it yet.
To our surprise, the least pathetic stations between New Brunswick and Hyannis were the oldies stations. This is not a compliment. The handsome companionís a Sinatra man. He was plain out of luck. Playlists have reduced long, rich careers to one tune hints. You liked folk music? You get one Simon & Garfunkel song. You liked Motown? You get one Marvin Gaye ditty. About the most positive thing to be said for radio is that over the course of our travels, we heard "Mony Mony" and "Gimme Some Loviní" twice.
To sum up: If youíre within the broadcast range of a radio station failing to suck, donít move. The penalty might be a full weekend of Billy Joel.

©2002 Robin Pastorio-Newman

All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.


Today's NY/NJ Shows That Matter

Sunday, July 12, 2020
Janet Jackson at Prudential Center (POSTPONED)
Jim Gaffigan at Monmouth Park (7p, DRIVE-IN concert)
More NY/NJ Shows That Matter

ALTROK Ordinals

ALTROK recommends music once a week; here's our most recent choices. Most links will take you to a place where you can buy the music; if there's no link, and you own a record company, consider releasing it yourself...

A Place To Bury Strangers - It Is Nothing
The Boxer Rebellion - Semi-Automatic
The Cribs - Cheat On Me
Datarock - True Stories
Everything Everything - Photoshop Handsome
HEALTH - Die Slow
Miles Hunt and Erica Nockalls - Catching More Than We Miss
Julian Plenti - Games For Days
Los Campesinos - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future (Free download!)
Miike Snow - Black & Blue

Viral Guerilla Marketing Tools


ALTROK talks about music, but that job isn't done 'til you make it your own...

ALTROK is a member of the Associates Program.
Click here to buy there, and help support ALTROK in the process.


You've read the rants, you've listened to the streams...
ALTROK swag! click on the t-shirt to pick up the swag!

[Error Creating Counter File -- Click for more info]