Hands Up! Who Wants Immortality?
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

Let's say you live forever.
 
Let's say everyone lives forever. No one is ever born, no one ever dies.
 
But we're talking about you now, and you grew up watching Sesame Street, and you have an attention span of a few minutes. Living forever doesn't just mean you listen patiently to Zamfir toodle on the pan flute. It doesn't just mean you wear something drapey, something silky, something Granny wears with support hose. You're going to live forever.
 
You've gotta date.
 
Keeping in mind that no one's ever born, and no one ever dies, and everyone needs enough living space for their ferns and power crystals; figuring a planet the size of Earth and a population of - say - 5 billion people, you could boink a different perfected soul every night for slightly longer than 13,641,096 years. You're going to live forever! Your datebook's packed!
 
Or, your society sprang up, fully-formed and fabulous, 5,000,000,000 people who've never been dumped by a gorgeous self-involved psychopath. Five billion people without 20 year high school reunions to attend in bad suits and blue eyeshadow. Five billion people without rotten childhoods to dump in your lap on the third date. There will never come a time when you'll need that red Miata.
 
Now concentrate: which one of you is God?
 

©2002 Robin Pastorio-Newman