for June 5, 2002
Check Your Head
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman
Springtime lingers another couple of weeks, yet summer's in the air. You know what
that means: Barbecues, festivals, bona fide parking spaces in college
towns; sundresses, unwanted relatives, driver's tans on elbows. You're
outdoors, you're roaring down the interstate, you're hitting the beach.
You're a crazed American, armed with vacation time, and you, dear
friend, need wacky foam headgear for every occasion.
In the words of Your Darling's, Your Diva's, Your One True Love's
favorite philosophers A Halo Called
Fred, "If I put this guitar on my head, it would be a hat / If I put
your mother on my head, she too would be a hat." A reveler's got to wear
what a reveler's got to wear,
unconfined by millinery convention.
Last Friday night's festival in New Brunswick's Boyd Park was
interrupted by a sudden, torrential downpour, complete with the kind of
lightning strikes Your Strawberry Milkshake crosses streets near
churches to avoid. Recommended headgear: the roomy interior of a brand
New Volkswagen, preferably welded in Wiesbaden to a chasis sporting
Saturday, Waterloo Village's Crawfish
Festival was a vibrant, fragrant, sun-drenched, deep-fried zydeco
concert filling a wide, shadeless field. Sunscreen drippng in one's eyes
as one nibbles wickedly spicy boiled crawfish is not for the weak. Plus,
it was windy. Prepared celebrants brought patio umbrellas and pavilion
tents, which quickly became party-colored airborne missiles. Recommended
headgear: air-conditioned body armor.
Also available for your sunburning pleasure, Asbury Park's Riverfest.
Your Mango Lassi hasn't the faintest notion what happened or didn't
because dodging lightning followed by pre-cancerous ultraviolet exposure
set to accordian music can suck the life out of a gal. Recommended
headgear: sleeping cap.
Great Britain's celebrated the Queen's Jubilee and everyone's sleeping it
off. It's caused Your Egg Cream to realize: she has plenty of
occasion-worthy little old lady hats, but where are the tiara-related holidays?
A reveler's got to wear what a reveler's got to wear, be it lampshade or
lamprey. Got an event
looming on the horizon and a dearth of ideas? Your Mint Julep is here to help.
©2002 Robin Pastorio-Newman
All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.
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Levy & The Oaks and Bottled Blonde at Asbury Park Yacht Club
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ALTROK recommends music once a week; here's our most recent choices. Most links will take you to a place where you can buy the music; if there's no link, and you own a record company, consider releasing it yourself...
A Place To Bury Strangers - It Is Nothing
The Boxer Rebellion - Semi-Automatic
The Cribs - Cheat On Me
Datarock - True Stories
Everything Everything - Photoshop Handsome
HEALTH - Die Slow
Miles Hunt and Erica Nockalls - Catching More Than We Miss
Julian Plenti - Games For Days
Los Campesinos - The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future (Free download!)
Miike Snow - Black & Blue
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