for March 27, 2002
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman
Gracious, the awards shows are flying fast and furious! Hot on the heels
of the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony come the Oscars,
during which one hears the most astounding speeches. Our beloved Sidney
Poitier well aside, movie stars and moguls make nitwitted statements in
front of a billion viewers. The whoosh! of falling champagne flutes
around the world is almost palpable as the director of Moulin Rouge,
say, utters mind-boggling bon mots like, "We didn't want to make a film
that referred to the past." Hmm. Hmm. Will you excuse me a second? I'll
be right back with the mop.
Many are the opinions of film as art as moments in a culture, etc.,
etc., and some voices sing the praises of a po-mo casting like
non-singer Nicole Kidman in a musical. Traditionally, musicals require
the cast to sing like, well, professionals. Our heroine warbles
adequately; she's no Julie Andrews, circa
Nicole's is no brave or inspired casting. She's a movie star in a
sumptuous setting, take that to the bank. Moulin Rouge is bad art
because the words "Moulin Rouge" refer to a specific time and place,
which only the costumer noticed. For it to be good art - just for
starters - a film can't shrug off when and where it takes place. As a
point of comparison, could you make a movie about Frank Sinatra and hire
George Clinton to score it, no matter how you adore brilliant Mr.
Clinton? You could. And you'd be first on your block to flunk an IQ
Back to the Hall of
Fame we glide. Your Darling, Your Diva, Your One True Love pondered the
list of inductees. On the surface of it, the Hall seems to be making a
good faith effort to acknowledge rock's roots, because scanning the list
for what's not present is like reading a hospital copy of an Agatha
Christie novel with the last page torn out. Then one morning, Your
Chrysanthemum woke up singing "Because the Night" and she knew. Some
omissions were so glaring, even RayBans won't keep you cool.
Missing, Where's My Milk Carton?
the Neville Brothers
Lee and Shirley
Re-read The List, Rubbed My Eyes, Still Missing:
the Sex Pistols
Ian Hunter/Mott the Hoople
Tommy James and the Shondells
MY STARS, MISSING:
Screamin' Jay Hawkins
Iggy Pop/the Stooges
Love them? Hate them? There's no disputing their place in history.
Moreover, Your Wisteria bets everyone giving the inductee list a
look-see conjures up as alarming a list of the missing, different from
hers. What went on in those committees that kept Chubby Checker out of
the pantheon? Suddenly, those rock historians look dumber than a box of
rocks, dumber than an Australian director rewriting French history with
American tunes and glossy crimson lipstick. Unless there's a reason why,
a pattern here Your Night-Blooming Jasmine fails to discern. Got a smart
idea? Your American Beauty would love to
hear it while she sweeps up fractured glass.
©2002 Robin Pastorio-Newman
All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.
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