for March 20, 2002
Induct and Cover
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman
Surveying this week's Rock And Roll Hall of Fame Inductees
list, one notices no
Early Influences category for the last two years. Perhaps like the
Donner Party, all the great dead blues musicians have
been ... accounted for.
Your Darling, Your Diva, Your One True Love has her
doubts. The committees are composed of experts. We can rest assured of
careful choices by concerned historians. While it's tough to imagine
what Mensa Chapter inducted Rod Stewart before Little Willie John, the
impending ceremony raises some interesting questions. How often have you
stumbled onto bands your friends love and you'd love to shoot with flame
throwers? Do we take really good music for granted? Ever found yourself
trapped after appetizers with the worst band ever blasting through
speakers next to your head?
Your Soft, Cuddly Bunny attempts to be a good sport. It's a mistake. At
the first sign of trouble, like the Hall of Fame induction of Aerosmith,
a diva ought to sense trouble and find a shady spot to wait out the
storm. Or play Point & Laugh. In this case, we're talking about
O'Connor's Beef 'N Chowder House in Somerset on the Saturday night
before St. Patrick's Day. I know. You know. We both know. We know! Only
a calamitously timed family occasion could induce us to go; the sole
redeeming moment may be when 400 strangers sing Happy Birthday to 50% of
one's sisters, saving your voice for heckling the band.
Four hours, one paragraph: the "stage" was a 10' x 10' bare surface
visible from most places in the dining rooms. It was also the doorway
between them. Irish dance school students riverdanced daintily between
diners and the salad bar, causing consternation among the flummoxed
waitstaff. Damien & the Irish Aliens mutilated traditional and original
tunes, at what seemed top volume until a fancy musician in a kilt
marched around the dining room. If your Sonicare is on the fritz and you
need to jar plaque from bicuspids, try bagpipe music in a confined
space. The band returned to murder more songs. During the second set, a
brother-in-law returned after an (unnoticed) absence with a Damien & the
Irish Aliens CD. Straw. Camel's back. Please tune the car radio to
scratchy, ancient recordings of the Delta bluesmen for relief from
tinitis and nausea.
Luckily, Saturday night included a rare show by supersurreal local retro
stars The Whirling Dervishes. Smooth and insinuating, dancy in a
piano-infused 80s guitar rock kind of way, The Whirling Dervishes are
very, very funny. Picture six smiling men playing a paean to Norman
Bates. Singer Don Dazzo's smirk reminds one of an underdrunk Dean
Martin, ponying with fans, except we're all in on the joke. A brilliant
reunion show by three-fifths of the guys now in equally stylish and
silly Everlounge. Perhaps some in
the audience were less enthusiastic than the girls cage-dancing minus
cages, but those people should remember that the Kinks beat John Lee
Hooker into the Hall, and I loathe the Kinks. Some people liked the fake
Irish band. It's all a matter of taste. You don't need experts or
committees to tell you that.
©2002 Robin Pastorio-Newman
All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.
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