for February 6, 2002
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman
Weeks ago, Your Darling, Your Diva, Your One True Love
exhorted you to turn off your radio. It’s been silent
in the Your Tasty Morselmobile, except for the
throat-clearing of uncomfortable passengers. Attaining
a state of enlightenment might be easier if one
weren’t busy flipping off Nirvana-seeking road hogs.
Nothing changed in a few weeks, really. The same
drivel’s on the radio, the exception being fewer jabs
at Charlotte Church. It’s not worth complaining about,
so let’s talk about television, another bizarro world
in which a Chef Boyardi Ravioli commercial is smarter
and catchier than anything but that infectious hunk
Deny it under oath, but you watched the Superbowl so
you could talk about the ads on an AOL chatboard. The
chicks dig that, you know. The ads, for the most part
banal as anything on in prime time, hit a few shiny
high notes. Your Diva’s favorite was Barry Bonds
telling Hank Aaron to quit haunting him. If you
happened to be re-heating weenies both times it
broadcast, Hank’s delightful debut will soon highlight
your viewings of, say, Babylon Five movies on FX.
The commercial making your skin crawl, making you weep
and moan, would it be for Cadillacs? Set to "Rock and
Roll" by Led Zeppelin? More than Britney Spears
wearing a fringed vest, did these Caddy ads make you
wonder if that teenage angst suicide attempt had
succeeded and no one mentioned you were really IN HELL
SINCE 1974? That would explain "In Through the Out
Door" wouldn’t it?
The Saturday night preceeding the broadcast debacle in
which Bono embarrassed us all into wishing we could
blame our persistent blushing on rosacea, Your Divine
Retribution emphatically raised her Bud can next to
the mosh pit. Peny Dredful & the Bloody Valentines/The
Wretched Ones/Destroy All Bands, an Oi! boy’s dream
bill, blistered at the Court Tavern. Destroy All Bands
hasn’t played together in years, but the crowd
remembered every roaring word. Another brill reunion
show. Where were you?
But the most interesting moment of the weekend came
from an unexpected source. As Your Fabulousness
primped before going out Saturday evening, UPN showed
the 17th Annual Stellar Gospel Music Awards, of which
I saw about ten minutes, since it was on opposite
A&E’s "Columbo Goes to College." Certainly the notion
of a genre called Hip Hop Gospel had never occurred to
me, but Your Darling’s young yet and one never knows,
right? Like an awards show where winners thanking God
didn’t sound to the discerning ear as if they’d
suddenly begun speaking in tongues. No, these award
winners sounded as if gratitude were genuine, and
ordinary, and natural. It was a completely new idea.
But the kicker, the sucker punch was the introduction
of Sean Combs as...Sean Combs. Who saw that coming?
So, *something* happened while the radio was off.
Wanna fill me in?
©2002 Robin Pastorio-Newman
All material ©2001-2014 Sean Carolan, except as noted.
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Friday, August 23, 2019
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