The 8-Ball: Day One
by Your Diva, Robin Pastorio-Newman

[ALTROK's contributors have all turned to the Magic 8-Ball for a look at next year. Today, Robin Pastorio-Newman squints at the little semi-opaque lens of knowledge.]

Your Diva asks a lot of questions, usually of The One True Tami, who answers until we switch to Jack Daniels. After that, we ask advice of the Magic 8 Ball, the way God intended. Hey, it's cheaper than calling Miss Cleo at Rikers.

For 2002:

Most Likely:
Will the blackmail victim responsible for Macy Gray's career tells his wife about the barnyard animals rather than subject us to another awful note?

Reply Hazy Try Again:
"Excuse me, Miss Smith and Miss - uh - Barabajangle, of course I see here you were both born in - ah - 1956, but you look mi-i-i-i-ghty young. And isn't that the Secret Service?"

Better Not to Tell You Now:
More J-Lo specials from Puerto Rico, complete with stultifying costume changes and a bigger hype than Christmas?

As I See It Yes:
Tom and Drew - the new Liz and Dick?

Outlook Good:
Does this wine go with Mardi Gras beads?

Don't Count On It:
Will authorities determine what happened to the REAL Sting?

Yes:
Bert Convy - still dead?

Ask Again Later:
About those scary Jennifer Lopez specials...?

It Is Certain:
Dare I ask: more boy bands?

Very Doubtful:
Will the XFILES take a miraculous turn and become interesting again?

My Sources Say No:
No, really, will I be saved from "UNUTTERABLY LIVE FROM SAN JUAN"?

©2001 Robin Pastorio-Newman

All material ©2001-2006 Sean Carolan, except as noted.

Today's NY/NJ Shows That Matter

Thursday, April 10, 2008
 
Tristan Prettyman and Whitley at Gramercy Theatre
 
Kathleen Edwards and Dan Wilson at Irving Plaza
 
Ginger (of Wildhearts) & Scott Metzger (of American Babies) at Pianos
 
Juggling Suns at Stanhope House
 
Tower Of Power at BB King's
 
Gnarls Barkley at Highline Ballroom
 
Kaki King at World Cafe Live, Philly
 
Mike Doughty's Band at Music Hall Of Williamsburg, Bklyn
 
Kathy Mattea at Highline Ballroom (CANCELLED)
 
Shawn Mullins at Joe's Pub
 
Jason Collett at Mercury Lounge
 
Katt Williams at Radio City Music Hall
 
Green Tag Sale at The Saint
 
 
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